Dispiriting morning and afternoon manufacturing things on the Internet. Why is it so hard to leave the house? But I heard something I wrote will be published. Ate left overs from new year’s, baccala (con spaghettti) and romeritos, a shrimp, herb and mole creation, both traditional dishes.
Took bus downtown for a ‘language’ exchange with a young man I met at a bar. He said eventually that he thought we were understanding each other and I agreed. However, I believe he thinks I am from Europe: he mentioned European people’s character many times (reserved, so I understand this makes sense for him) for no other apparent relevance; compared the value of pesos to Euros. I tried to explain about kangaroos. He asked ‘you are boring?’ several times meaning (I hope) ‘are you bored?’ (slightly better). Sweet man.
Earlier in the day I saw a TED talk by Brené Brown about shame and vulnerability, The power of vulnerability. An anthropology lecturer I once had said there are only two basic types of emotion, pride and shame.
Brené says, not verbatim quotes, shame is fear of disconnection, there is something about me that if others see it, I won’t be worthy of connection… Connection is a result of authenticity, willingness to let go of who you think you should be in order to be wholeheartedly who you are…The wholehearted make themselves vulnerable with no guarantees…You can’t numb some emotions, when you do you numb everything…Let ourselves be seen, love with our whole hearts, even without guarantees, to practice gratitude and joy.
What I would like to picture is a river mixed from streams of different temperatures: ice, warm, steam, cool, intermingled at all times of day, and to take it all in, the undercurrents and surface, to not leave anything out. The immensity of emotion or similar as Marguerite Duras refers to in The Lover.